Fall Forward

Posted on November 8, 2012 by Karen Morse

Fall Forward

While I love the idea of getting an extra hour of sleep when we turn the clocks back, I have a hard time dealing with it getting dark at four o’clock in the afternoon! Can you relate?

It has been a rough week getting adjusted with more tension in the air surrounding the recent election & results. I’ve seen comments from friends on Facebook about how we are a nation divided and how things are only going to get worse, etc. I wish we could all just channel the overwhelming energy and emotion that we are putting in to negativity and turn it into something positive. I’m not planning to get political in this post, but I support Americans accepting what they can not change and working together as hard as we can to fall forward instead of backwards.

Just like any other goal, you have to put something in to get something out. Just my two cents in an area that I normally stay away from … but I do feel strongly about looking ahead and not focusing on the past!

Speaking of looking ahead … I’m looking forward to hosting Thanksgiving in our new house! Gotta get on the menu planning! I found some really yummy side dishes, desserts, and different ways to make brussel sprouts (my favorite!). Now to order the turkey for the meat eaters!

Though I LOVE the fall, the cold & rain can make me a bit lazy, even though I know that a workout is JUST what I need to give myself that extra boost of energy (not another cup of coffee at 3:30!). Here is a link to my Pinterest board called Workouts You Can Do Anywhere if you are looking for workouts you can do indoors or for a little motivation!

The Benefits of Spending Time Alone

Posted on June 1, 2012 by Karen Morse

If you have been following me on Facebook this week, you will see that I have been exploring the city of Tokyo!

I think back to just a couple of years ago when I couldn’t bear the idea of eating lunch alone in a restaurant. Now, I’m off all day exploring a foreign city on my own! I’m not sure what I was afraid of before… Maybe I thought that people were looking at me or judging me? I’m not sure… but I love the freedom of caring more about what *I* want and what *I* think than a random stranger that I’ll likely never see again.

On Monday, I joined a Nia class with the lovely Black Belt instructor Yuki Maezawa. The biggest challenge was getting from my home base in central Tokyo to Suginami, which involved switching to a local train at Shibuya. Shibuya is by far one of the most crowded busiest places that I have ever seen in my life! It’s like the Times Square of Tokyo. The crossing outside of the station, known as the Scramble Crossing, is known to be the busiest crossing in the WORLD!

Photo courtesy of theguardian

The Nia class was very enjoyable! Everyone was very welcoming and spent the first minutes of class introducing themselves to me. The class was taught in both Japanese and English, but with the familiar moves, it was almost like no words at all were necessary. It was a wonderful start to my week!

On Tuesday, I spent some time exploring an area of Omotesando/Aoyama that I hadn’t seen before. I set off in search of Cafe Madu, which I’d learned of by reading a wonderful blog called The Expat Wife who has written wonderful reviews of area cafes & restaurants that I have found enormously helpful! (Expat Wife… if you are reading this, perhaps we could meet for a tea sometime? The setting and the food were very nice and afterwards I found two other places that I’d been searching for & unable to find before: The Aveda Salon & Aveda Pure Cafe (I peeked inside, but since I had just eaten, I added it to my to-do list…) & Nicolai Bergmann, another cafe where I’d like to have an Afternoon Tea/Cake set, which is adjacent to Nicolai’s incredible flower shop.

Yesterday, I decided to head to Ginza – probably one of the most expensive shopping districts in the world – for lunch at the Gucci Cafe. I’ve passed by this Gucci store several times on previous trips to Tokyo and always wanted to stop here for my afternoon cake set fix When I learned that they served lunch, I was off! The lunch set did not disappoint! My waiter was super-friendly and spoke excellent English (a huge plus for a struggling tourist). The food was incredible right down to the last drop of pistachio sauce along side my strawberry tart and fresh vanilla bean ice cream!

All in all, it has been a pretty great week. A few years ago, I would not have had any of these experiences because I would not have wanted to go off on my own & explore. Now, I look at it as an adventure!

My words of self-care wisdom for the week? Don’t let the idea of doing something alone paralyze you. It can be scary and overwhelming at times, but don’t be afraid to spend a little quality time with yourself. Life experiences are waiting for you!!

Why Boundaries are Important to Your Health

Posted on May 17, 2012 by Karen Morse

Statistics show that stress causes 80 – 90% of all illness, yet we continue to take on more than we can handle at work and in life.

We know that setting our own personal boundaries can make a huge impact on your quality of life, so…

Why is it so hard to set boundaries?

Just like everything else, learning to set boundaries is a skill. And it’s personal. You have to define what is acceptable to you, where your “line” is, and let people know when they are crossing it.

Boundary setting has nothing to do with changing other people, it’s about changing the way you react to their demands and communicating.

Here are some boundary-setting steps you can take to improve your skills:

Do you know what your own boundaries are? It may have been so long since you stopped to think about it, you might need to do a little self-awareness exercise to get started. That’s ok! Grab a pen and paper & start to jot down areas where you know you need boundaries. Decide what you will no longer do or tolerate.
Get the word out. If you want people to start respecting your new boundaries, they need to know what they are! Calmly communicate to others what is not acceptable.

For example, if you are consistently being asked to work on your day off, let your boss know before she asks again that your day off is now designated as “family time.” Try not to place blame on anyone when you are doing this. This is an important step in getting other to understand your new boundaries.

Be firm. Once your new boundaries have been communicated in a non-blaming manner and you have been very clear about what is and is not acceptable, you have to start enforcing them. If you are being ignored and disrespected, then it may be time to walk away.
Do unto others. Make sure you practice what you preach. If you want people to respect your boundaries, then you have to do the same. Be aware of the boundaries of your loved ones and co-workers. If you aren’t sure, ask!

How are your boundary setting skills? What other ideas have worked for you?

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Posted on May 10, 2012 by Karen Morse

I was filming a video today that demonstrated exercises to release tension in the hands, wrists, and forearms, and I started to think about emotional stress and tension.

I was talking to a friend yesterday about how difficult it can be to stand up for yourself when you are a people-pleaser by nature. How is it that the fear and anxiety that comes from saying “no” to someone else can be greater than the stress and anxiety that we are placing on ourselves by saying “yes”? I have wondered this for many years.

I decided to do some research on the “fight or flight” response. While these days we aren’t typically running from wild animals who want to make us their dinner, emotional stressors such as being forced to work 60 – 80 hour weeks for fear of losing our jobs can illicit the same response — rapid heart beat, a surge of adrenaline, stress hormones pumping throughout our body. All of the same things that would prepare us to fight or run away from a predator are engaged, and we lose the ability to thinking clearly and rationally during that time.

In most situations today, once our fight or flight response is activated, we can’t fight or run from these threatening situations. We have to figure out how to regain control and deal with it. In fact, there are so many of these modern day stressors – feeling overworked, missing a deadline, sitting in awful traffic every day – that our fight or flight response can stay triggered for days on end. This leads to aggression (like road rage) and overreaction; every little thing feels like the LAST straw!

So what do we do? How do we deal with this emotional stress?

I have to say, I absolutely learned this lesson the hard way. As far as traffic is concerned … let’s just say I’m still working on that one.

One thing we can do is give ourselves a time-out. Change your environment. If possible, remove ourselves from the situation by going for a walk or stepping outside for a few moments until we feel calmer and our rational thinking returns.

Another option is to surround yourself with positive people, people who are grounded. Discussing the situation with people in the same boat adds fuel to the fire and keeps your anxiety level high. Try talking with someone you trust who is removed from the situation and can offer perspective. Maybe you DO need to change jobs, so “no” to a new assignment that is going to keep you away from your family or go against your values. A reality check from a positive supportive person can be just what you need.

When your nerve cells are not firing out of control, practice mindfulness. Try techniques like taking deep, relaxing breaths or a short meditation. Finding ways to promote relaxation are helpful, as you can cue them during stressful times. You can read more about mindfulness in my post, “Multi-tasking vs. Mindfulness: The Science of Stress.”

How often do you feel your “fight or flight” response kick in? Do you ever wonder if you should stay or go?

I’m sure you have found other ways to deal with the anxiety-provoking feelings. Tell me about it in the comments below — I want to hear from you!

Have You Told Someone Why They Are Awesome Today?

Posted on May 3, 2012 by Karen Morse

It usually feels pretty good when someone tells you that you’re awesome. I mean… who doens’t like to be told what they are good at?

About six years ago, a previous employer of mine decided they were going to shut down a pretty large operational facility on the west coast. It happened to be the office where I worked, as well as a couple thousand other people.

My boss at the time decided that we should do something meaningful for the hard-working people in our department. She showed myself & the other managers in our group something she had received while working at another company that had decided to shut down a facility.

In an 8 1/2 x 11 frame, she held a document entitled “YOU ARE VALUED”. Below that, there were bullet points listing things that each person in the department had contributed that they appreciated about her.

We all thought it was a great idea. We had a group of about 60 people who I can honestly say worked incredibly well together, supported one another, and has been the best group of folks that I have ever had the pleasure of working with. We knew, given the closeness of the staff, we would really be able to give people a meaningful gift to take with them. And it really felt good when we were presenting them to people. Everyone was really moved by the kind words that their friends & colleagues had to say about them. It made them smile!

This is mine below I have proudly displayed it in every office that I have had since then, and it now hangs on the wall in my home office. Any time I need a boost of self-confidence, I take a look at it and it always makes me smile!

Want to create your own DIY “You Are Valued” certificate to give to a group of employees or volunteers you manage for recognition of a job well done? I created a free image of a blue ribbon that you can use. Just add the image to your own Microsoft Word document or whatever word processing software you use.

Have you ever gotten a gift like this? Did it make you smile? Did it inspire you? Tell me about it below!

What Makes You Smile?

Posted on April 26, 2012 by Karen Morse

Today’s post is a question.

What makes you smile?

From ThoughtQuestions.com

Yes, I’m talking to you! I want to know what makes YOU smile

I’ll start off by listing a few things that make me smile. Then I want you leave a comment below and tell me a thing or two. It doesn’t have to be much — just a word or two!

Things that make me smile (and sometimes LOL) are:

Dancing
Reading someecards on Pinterest every day (they are hilarious!!!)
A really blue sky on a sunny day
When my friend orders the same dish at the same restaurant and says “with no onions on top” EVERY time
Carrying my little cat from the bedroom to the front of the house every day — because he likes to be presented to the room instead of walking in himself…
A glass of champagne (why wait for a vacation?)

Ok, your turn…

WHAT MAKES YOU SMILE

10 Quotes When You Need a Boost of Motivation

Posted on March 23, 2012 by Karen Morse

I've been writing about motivation for several months now. If not in my blog posts, then in the quotes that I send out on Twitter and in my Facebook community. The winter is a particularly difficult time for many people (including myself) to stay motivated.

As we welcome the Spring, here are 10 Quotes to motivate you to set and achieve your goals and live the happiest life possible.

5 Steps to Bring Wellness Into Your Life

Posted on March 16, 2012 by Karen Morse

Who couldn’t use a little more wellness in their lives? It can be hard to prioritize self-care in our busy lives.

Here are five easy steps to start to bring wellness into your life:

When you wake up, give thanks! Start off each day thinking of all of the wonderful things in your life. Do your best think positive thoughts. Positive thinking invites positivity into your life. Try it, and see what happens. It will change your whole day!
Before you go to bed, write down the 5 best things that happened to you during the day. If you make this part of your routine, you will find yourself looking for things to write about during the day.
Discover your Inner Passion. Did you used to dance but haven’t been on the dance floor in years? Maybe its time to try a class? Even you can only spend a few minutes a day doing what you feel passionate about, it can make a HUGE difference.
Do 5 good deeds every day. Doing nice things for other people is hugely rewarding. It can be as simple as holding the door open for someone. Any selfless, positive act can be included.
Embrace a healthy, active lifestyle. Eat healthy foods and drink plenty of water every day. Talk a walk with a friend or your spouse. The more active you are, the more energy you will have.

Try these 5 steps, and you will invite wellness into your life.

“The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything but they make the most of everything.” – Sam Cawthorn

Prioritize Relationships That Matter Most

Posted on February 17, 2012 by Karen Morse

Finding true balance in life doesn’t just happen because you want it to.

There’s a lot of work to do and time to be invested. Why should you do it?

Because you deserve to be happy!

In today’s post, I’m sharing information about Relationships that is addressed in more detail in my FREE Mini “Balance Inventory” Wellness Workbook.

In our very busy lives, our Relationships are just one component where we need to have the right balance in order to be happy. Not only do your friends, family, and loved ones deserve time with you, they deserve to spend time with a happy, healthy, peaceful you – with your BEST you.

As our lifestyles and our environments change, this *right* balance will also change. For instance, if you are young and dedicated to growing your career, you may be willing to sacrifice going out with your friends in order to put your best foot forward professionally.

If you have been working hard for years to be better financially prepared to start a family, you will likely re-evaluate your work schedule once you start your family.

It is only natural to move through these stages, but it is important to periodically run through a list of questions to make sure that you actually know what your current priorities are! Believe it or not, some people find themselves SO busy that they run on autopilot and years can pass by in what seems like the blink of an eye.

To make sure you are prioritizing the relationships that matter most to you at all times throughout your life, write down the answers to the following questions.

1) What are the most important relationships in your life?

2) How much quality time are you spending doing what is most important to you?

3) Is there any stress or strain going on with anyone or anything you listed in #1?

4) Are you happy with your job or chosen career path? What would you change?

5) Do work demands overly interfere with your family and personal relationships?

To read more about achieving balance and get more self-assessment questions related to your Body, your Mind, and your Environment, download my FREE Workbook here.

Why Resolutions Fail

Posted on December 30, 2011 by Karen Morse

Achieve your 2012 Goals With These Simple Tips

I overheard a conversation in the locker room at the gym today between two ladies who were regular gym-goers. One of them commented on how quiet it was in the gym this morning given that it was the holidays. The other reminded her about how busy it was going to be next week when everyone who set New Year’s resolutions to lose weight, get in shape, or just to be more healthy began showing up at the gym. Her friend remarked that by February it would be far less crowded because most people would have given up on their resolutions already!

It wasn’t so much a shocking remark as it was a sad one. What truly is the difference between people who are able to adopt a healthy lifestyle and those who crash and burn after a few days or weeks?

To me, the difference between a failed resolution and the ability to make lasting changes, develop a healthy lifestyle, lose weight, and feel more energized is all in the approach. Here are a few tips to making successful resolutions and avoid being a statistic.

1) Don’t Ban Your Favorite Food Forever. If you eat chocolate on a daily basis and decide that you are never going to eat chocolate again, you will probably not be very successful at achieving this goal. Instead of banning it forever, vow to have a small piece a couple of times per week. Switch from milk to dark chocolate, which has antioxidant benefits. Yes, chocolate CAN be good for you!

2) Don’t Do Too Much Too Soon at the Gym. If you haven’t been to the gym in five years, you need to ease into exercise. Make sure that your doctor has given you the all-clear to exercise if you have any injuries or ailments of concern. Start slow and be consistent! If you belong to a gym or plan to join one, classes are a great way to stay motivated. Try different things (spinning, Zumba, yoga, etc.) to keep your body guessing what is coming next & maximize calories burned & muscles worked.

3) Don’t Go It Alone! It is much easier and much more fun when are working out with someone. This even works if you actually exercise on your own & then have a virtual “accountability buddy.” For those of you that didn’t see this on my Facebook page, I’m starting a 21-day exercise challenge on January 3rd. Join me and others who have already signed up who share your goals. We can all keep one another accountability & share ideas, milestones, and successes!

Leave me a comment here and let me know what your healthy living goals are for 2012! I’d love to help you achieve them!

Category Archives: Relationships

Fall Forward

The Benefits of Spending Time Alone

Why Boundaries are Important to Your Health

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Other posts you may like:

Have You Told Someone Why They Are Awesome Today?

What Makes You Smile?

10 Quotes When You Need a Boost of Motivation

5 Steps to Bring Wellness Into Your Life

Prioritize Relationships That Matter Most

Why Resolutions Fail

Achieve your 2012 Goals With These Simple Tips

Happy New Year everyone!