Statistics show that stress causes 80 – 90% of all illness, yet we continue to take on more than we can handle at work and in life.
We know that setting our own personal boundaries can make a huge impact on your quality of life, so…
Why is it so hard to set boundaries?
Just like everything else, learning to set boundaries is a skill. And it’s personal. You have to define what is acceptable to you, where your “line” is, and let people know when they are crossing it.
Boundary setting has nothing to do with changing other people, it’s about changing the way you react to their demands and communicating.
Here are some boundary-setting steps you can take to improve your skills:
- Do you know what your own boundaries are? It may have been so long since you stopped to think about it, you might need to do a little self-awareness exercise to get started. That’s ok! Grab a pen and paper & start to jot down areas where you know you need boundaries. Decide what you will no longer do or tolerate.
- Get the word out. If you want people to start respecting your new boundaries, they need to know what they are! Calmly communicate to others what is not acceptable.
For example, if you are consistently being asked to work on your day off, let your boss know before she asks again that your day off is now designated as “family time.” Try not to place blame on anyone when you are doing this. This is an important step in getting other to understand your new boundaries.
- Be firm. Once your new boundaries have been communicated in a non-blaming manner and you have been very clear about what is and is not acceptable, you have to start enforcing them. If you are being ignored and disrespected, then it may be time to walk away.
- Do unto others. Make sure you practice what you preach. If you want people to respect your boundaries, then you have to do the same. Be aware of the boundaries of your loved ones and co-workers. If you aren’t sure, ask!
How are your boundary setting skills? What other ideas have worked for you?
Other related posts you might like:
Powered by Facebook Comments